Tea with Retcon, almost a get-together party

We’ve got a new co-worker! And she’s a lot of fun. She managed to steal the evidence I also tried to steal – and that was a good competition, imagine we were both there at the same time, a marvelous yet unstated competition and race against time and each other. She’s a bit uptight too, but, well, who wouldn’t be uptight in her place, bearing in mind Eric’s exquisite communication and poisoning skills. Still, she’s smart enough to sort stuff out. And she’s even got her own lab! (Or rather, she had it. I’m not sure she’ll be going back there. What a pity.) Also, she’s got a problem. And I don’t mean that dull boyfriend of her. A serious problem. As far as I know, she heard about OUR sample of alien shit from some police guy (was it McKennith? McKinnon? Whatever). Who apparently isn’t the person she thought he was. See, police officers who are supposed to get promoted shouldn’t disappear for whole weeks and avoid their co-workers. They also aren’t supposed to get into drugs, and this guy was seriously addicted. Then, no one has been in his flat for, like, little less than a month. I hope he’s not rotting there (though that’s one of my guesses). I’m placing my bets on that someone decided to impersonate that McKennith guy for some reason. This brings new questions: who? For what reason? And on the top of that, we’ve got petrol companies and secret meetings held in the hours of early morning. Also, as far as I can tell, the shining star of organic chemistry that checked out OUR sample had something to do with fuels, too. Can’t wait to see these bits forming a bigger picture together, really!

Quote of the day...

I'd include it here, but then my boss wouldn't leave his room until 2012. And we'd all miss him terribly. He's the only one capable of giving us orders and still being passive-agressive, and blinking in that awkward manner*.
And he's the only one that would come up with such a flawless, catchy phrase and then act weird just because someone else noticed how brilliant and witty it is. Eric, I know we're a bunch of morons (my sheer presence is enough to start a pandemic of moronnosis), but please, don't hide from us. We admire your sense of humour. And your accent, too.

* - I couldn't mock it, though God knows I've tried.

Fanged Awlarsie! ^^

In Humanitas Credo

Now, let me tell you something about the Doctor. The Doctor is like God – he doesn’t exist and he isn’t going to come and save us. We are all alone in the night and there are monsters lurking around. They’ll come and get you quicker, than you’ll be able to say “Cthulhu fhtagn!”. That is the truth, not the blue boxes falling from the sky.
Of course, they say the Doctor is why UNIT was created,. Or Torchwood. Oh, I believe they just need a myth. They need to believe in that mysterious man from the distant future coming to save them, like the other people need to believe in God, granting them happy afterlife. Or in Santa Claus. I don’t believe in each of them.
All this times, when we started our wars, when we killed each other, where was the Doctor? All those abducted people, all those horror aliens brought upon us – where was he then? He didn’t come and he will not, so we shouldn’t wait, we should do something! Because we are able to: we survived in spite of all, to face our enemies and our fears and become stronger.
That’s what I believe in: humanity. We may be a bunch of bastards, but let me tell you: there are things out there worse than us. I’ve seen them, I know them better, than anyone, believe me. And the fact that in spite of that our planet still exists – yes, that is a miracle more stunning, than all the myths we created.

Wielding's laws for beginners - introduction

Let’s make rocket science of 20th century look like primary school basics.
Take causality relation. A causes B, simple as that. We all know it. Now let’s bring it to the next level: A is a piece of alien tech from future, and B is a brand new model of computer. It wouldn’t be half as quick without these little innovations and inspirations its authors got from A, which accidentally had fallen on our dear planet Earth through a time rift or other shit. Future influences past, or, from our prospective, present.
Let’s take another step further. Alien tech A was strongly influenced by a device called C, B’s descendant. C inherited many of the features B got from a familiar piece of alien tech… got it?
Then take a look at another example: I wouldn’t ever think of that if not due to a person who is supposed to be from the past, but actually came to 21st century from some future. Let’s make a brave assumption that it’s me, not the armies of physicists from MIT and Oxford, that is going to create the basics of actual time science. I love that assumption, by the way. But then – that person wouldn’t come here if I didn’t invent the laws I might invent one day, right? There’s a nasty paradox ahead, and we shall get rid of it.
Solution no. 1: someone has re-written history, just that one point, the moment of discovering these laws, and the rest of it has re-arranged itself so that the whole story would make sense. Possible.
Solution no. 2: the moment it happened, two realities emerged. One in which such laws are Wielding’s laws, another in which they’re someone else’s laws, and Wielding is just that poor sod glaring into Torchwood computer screens day by day. And probably a few other realities.
Solution no. 3: both previously thought-up events happened. I’m placing my bets on this one.
So far so good. We’ve got history re-writing and multiplifying itself over and over again. Did I mention that time ain’t linear anymore? Not that my neuron-based ape brain could get a good grip of that idea. Sometimes I think I’m getting close – I manage to stop thinking the human way for an infinitely short while, and I imagine time as a spot, everything happening at once, in a glimpse, in a split second, expanding rapidly far beyond my comprehension. Big Bang? There’s nothing else BUT Big Bang. It’s still happening, and nothing more ever would happen, ‘cause Big Bang is time. Of course, you might also think that this means that somehow, somewhere, you’re dying and you will be dying during the whole eternity. Well, yeah. But it also means your life is eternal. In a way. I don’t know which of these statements is more miserable, after all.
That’s it for my obviously narrow mind, and for yours, possibly, too. But it’s fairly enough to start considering time travel and other shit. Enjoying yourself? Get ready for time-space branching and parallel universes, and I don’t mean the “21st century academic” edition.